BRAND NEW ME

I woke up this morning feeling happy and at the same time scared.I decided to think,think about those days when I would worry about things and end up blaming myself. I remember vividly that I would make some certain decisions because I wanted attention.

The thing is, I really can't say when I 'grew up'. All I'm saying is I love the new me, I love my life now and it is not by my strength but by God's grace. I noticed that what excites my age mates doesn't excite me, not because I'm not interested but because I'm happy with what I have.

Ever since I started attending C.O.Z.A my walk with Christ has improved and my self esteem is no longer low. Most of the time I find myself thinking about those days and the friends I had then. I must say that the friends one moves with is a big influence. I'm not condemning any one at all. I believe along the line that the things that frighten us all, "Change" would visit them.

At times people ask me "How old are you", and when I reply them, they don't want to believe me because they end up saying I'm too young to think in such a matured way. I love it when I hear things like that because it boosts my self esteem. The kush, partying, drinking, and all is no longer my thing. I ask myself "When I follow the crowd and do that,What do I gain? "The answer is nothing, I gain nothing, at the end I feel empty and wasted. I'm not saying I'm perfect and neither am I using this medium to change your mind. You might call me boring and dead but you know what? that is how I have chosen to live my life and the benefits I gain from living 'my' life is awesome.There is peace inside me and I feel calm about things because I have someone up there who cares and who is strengthening me daily and he loves me. I wasn't like this before, but do you know what happened to me? I wanted to stop that devilish feeling inside and there is only one person that could do that-JESUS. I'm not scared or shy to call him my father, because he said in his word that if you deny him on earth he would also do the same in Heaven.

Consciously having a relationship with God and loving him would improve you and the way you see things,You wouldn't see barriers in life as set backs but as Stepping Stones. I urge you to do that (have a relationship with God). There is a way you can live a holy life and still enjoy life. All you have to do is walk with him. It might be funny and weird at times but you will get used to it.

Before I leave my bed to start my daily activities, I take few minutes out to think and thank him for all he has done.